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23/12/25I'm such a shitty friend. I should have took time out of doing whatever dumb thing i was doing to check his blog and try to help. Why do I always realize this stuff when it's too late?

18/12/25Winter break has started! Yay! Time to put together the newspaper + website, read like 50 books, write half a book, finish making a game, figure out meal prep, try to convince my aunt to give me my own bedroom (a corner of her studio on the top floor- it's really hot up there but it might be more private?), anddd try to get ahead with studying. I'm kinda glad to get away from school stuff like I'm losing hair over quizzes and stuff. Wtv my brother got a hamster and named it mousetail/taquito yay more animals that me and my aunt are going have to take care of.

12/12/25 (re)listening to The Horrors' Strange House rn. Pretty good for a randomly downloaded soulseek album. I still can't figure out the gallery section of my site. Like the grid is NOTTT working at all- it's so annoying. Renpy is getting on my nerves haha.

10/12/25 My aunt is getting a new sewing machine!!!! Can't wait to make stuff again!!! (Like big clothing projects). I have so many ideas for revamping some clothes I don't really like nsvjghfkj. I'm going to be so old next year like I really need to start getting my life together. 700$ and a dream won't last long. On a serious note, I'm thinking to start a small school. (More like tutoring, but in a group setting?) I love working with kids, and people need more tutors in this town, so yeah. I'm planning to take a few courses and read as much as I can before next summer. Also hoping to create a good curriculum because the majority of schoolbooks here are horrible (seriously). I guess one of the silly things I don't like about this idea is that it's what everyone expects me to do. Whatever. So tired of defying expectations all the time.

9/12/25 I feel so unproductive. exams are coming up and I just don't really care?? It's been a weird struggle to get myself to study and put time into things lately. Last quarter was horrible (94 percent average for everything) and I'm probably going to be in the eighties this time. Whatever can't wait for break. Hopefully next year I'll somehow test out of my current grade. Also this newspaper thing has become such a huge burden. I'm the only one writing articles, coding the site, organizing events, and advertising it. I should have stuck with making it a literature club, honestly. I still need to prove I can do stuff to people. Heard one of my teachers call me 'abrasive and rebellious'. Yay. I feel like I try so hard to oppose this school's conservative values and never really get anything out of it. Sure, I can show that someone can have basic empathy and know basic theology, but nobody is like seeing the truth or seeing how wrong they are in basically almost everything. (is that really wrong to say? idk) anything. At most they just shun me and think that I'm too 'woke'. I guess I can never change their minds, and it's starting to wear me down. If I just go back to being super introverted and 'going with the flow' then they're going to think they were right, so now I have to keep this stupid persona up forever or something. I feel like my whole life is just putting on personas and pretending to agree with people.

29/11/25 i have so many ideas right now... sgjkfl;l need to make a 'media' section for my reviews/library.

25/11/25 Spent way too long trying to get this thing to run and look good lol. I'm in the finishing stages of the main blog, at least. Still need to work on my other pages.